xofalling2deep's Xanga

Goodbye </3

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 12:01:51 GMT

re-read if you wish, I added some stuff...again...

Wow. Another year has gone by insanely fast and we all took it for granted. I never got to say the things I wanted to say to some people...I never got to tell some people how much they really affected me these past two (or more) years...I hate getting all sappy at the end of the year, but I also know it is basically inevitable that this happen. Every single one of the people I met in middle school has changed me, some more than others. There are some people I'm sure I wouldn't have survived without and some people that made me feel like I wouldn't survive middle school. It has been an insane two years: they were full of drama, completely crazy, and absolutely stressful, but most of all these two years were completely MEMORABLE.

These two years were extremely short, but we've all changed so much. We've gained best friends and lost a few along the way. Our hearts have been broken but there was always someone there to glue all the little pieces back together. We learned more than we ever imagined we could. Everyone has undergone personality changes-some of us more than others. Throughout these past two years, we've learned more about ourselves and the world around us. It's not the carefree fairytale we thought it would be when we were younger. No longer are we little kids with someone there to hold our hands as we cross the street and ready to give us a bandaid for every little boo-boo. In middle school we learned how to take care of ourselves; how much responsibility we're going to need in the years to come. We've all gone through times where we just wanted to give up and go back to the way things were. Then there were moments that we would give absolutely anything to go back to again...maybe it was having that first 'love' or an insane moment with a best friend. We will be leaving Rocky Run Middle School soon, but that doesn't mean Rocky Run Middle School will be leaving us. In high school and beyond, there are people we will remember for the rest of our lives; there will be times that we will never forget, no matter how hard we try.

I can still remember that moment in time when I had left elementary school. For me, I wasn't really leaving my friends-I knew I'd see them again next year-it was leaving behind an entire way of life. This year is going to be harder to leave. We had all changed and matured so much in these two years that the people we had met and befriended affected us greatly. I can name about 50 people off the top of my head who have changed who I am and who I hope to be. Sure, some people didn't affect me as much as others; that's bound to happen. There were about three or four people that I can honestly say affected me so much I just can't imagine what I would've done without them. There are also a handful of people who made me so much stronger just by not being there for me...just by disliking me. Just because I had so many hard times during the past two years, I also realize that there have been so many more fun moments. The 'adventures' at Busch Gardens, choir concerts, different classes&&teachers, and moments of pure insanity are only some of many things that I will remember fondly. Even though I probably never said it as much as I should've, I really, truly love all the friends that were there for me this year and last year. You have all been through much-I know that I have-but many of you managed to have something to say to cheer me up. I've learned so much about myself and life that has changed me completely, as well as some things I wish I'd never learned. ;) If I've signed your yearbook, many of you know for a fact that I can write a whole lot. That isn't just because I'm articulate; it's because you've all given me something to write about. Moments that we cried, laughed, fought, etc. during are permanently etched in my mind. It's insane how much has happened in two years and how fast everything is ending. Not only am I leaving friends I love dearly, but I'm leaving a school that has taught me so much.

Some things I learned:
**The only real limitations in life are the ones you put on yourself. If you allow yourself to do something, you will achieve it.
**Sometimes it's the people who hated you that end up helping you the most.
**Time waits for no one; make the most of your life now or you'll regret it later.
**Never wonder about what could've been, instead focus on what can happen now.
**If you think that everyone around you has changed, look again and see if maybe it's you who's changed instead.

Everyone always says that we'll keep in touch and be friends forever. I hate to say it, but it's probably not true. I mean, most of us-although we are friends-will have lost anything in common. No longer will we be able to complain about our teachers or the amount of homework piled on us with people going to different school. The different settings and new friends will change us in ways that people in other schools won't be able to understand. Our schedules will conflict, making it hard for us to just see a movie or go to the mall together. I hate saying this because I'd like to keep every single one of my friends close by, but deep down I know this will happen. I remember that on the last few days of 6th grade, we told the people going to different schools that we'd stay in touch...we'd still hang out...that we'd still be friends. Can you honestly say that you still talk to those people? I love you all so much; I really hope you know that. There's a part of me, however, that doesn't want to hang on to false hope. There's a part of me that knows this is the final goodbye for most of us.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 21:00:19 GMT

Wow, I'm completely BORED. I've created a banner for my up-and-coming new layout. I made the banner all by myself! I must say, I'm very proud. Currently I'm done with like 90% of my poem. I need like 3 more lines to complete it. That isn't as good as I hoped it would be. It's basically about how I've been living in the shadow of others and that I'm looking for my moment to shine. Then I have an epiphany and realize I don't need to prove myself to others. Needless to say, that was inspired while I was riding the bus this afternoon crying. Yes, I'm a loser because I'm jealous of my friends. Whatever. Quiz time while I wait for the inspiration for my last few lines!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Alyssa
2. Yeah, I don't have any nicknames. Oh wait, I know!
3. That loser over there.

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. xofalling2deep
2. lit0mizzd0rkwad
3. xoaNG3l 0fMuZIc

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eyes. Everyone says they're gorgeous. They're the one thing I like about myself.
2. I'm not 100lbs overweight???
3. My hair never gets messy. I love it.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My stupid fudging height. As of yesterday, I'm 4'11 ³/4" JUST one-fourth of an effing inch to 5 feet. I hate it. I hate it all. I've SHRUNK since the summer.
2. I have no strength or athletic ability whatsoever.
3. Eh. I don't like my feet. >.<

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. FILIPINA<3333333
2. I'm one-eight Spanish (from Spain)
3. N/A

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T STAND:
1. Being compared to someone else who is clearly much better than me
2. Those people that pretend to be your friend to your face but make fun of you behind your back
3. Feeling emotional pain

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Horror films. Seriously, I will never watch one.
2. Stalkers/Rapists. They're just creepy.
3. Insane people. Also really creepy.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS:
1. Suite Life of Zack and Cody (DISNEYCHANNEL=LOVE)
2. Alias
3. American Idol

THREE MOVIES YOU CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:
1. Rent (Just finished watching it for the 10th time)
2. Phantom of the Opera (Currently watching it for the 20-something-th time)
3. Titanic (Definitely NOT a musical...XD)

THREE MOVIES YOU WOULD LIKE TO WATCH:
1. She's the Man
2. American Dreamz
3. ehhhhh

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Cellphone
2. iPod (or any form of music really)
3. My darling computer<3

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Jeans
2. Light pink cami
3. Phantom of the Opera earrings<3

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. That amazing feeling where you're dizzy, giddy, nervous, drunk (on love), and completely amazed every time you see that 'special someone'
2. Love<333333
3. Common interests (otherwise what would we talk about??)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE GENDER THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Hair. Gotta have amazing hair.
2. Eyes. His eyes have to be completely captivating.
3. Intelligence. Gotta be smart. Not like the next Einstein (EINSTEINETTE. XD High School Musical...okay back to this), but smart enough to carry on a conversation with me.

THREE BAD HABITS:
1. I'm totally dramatic. Everyone hates it, including myself.
2. Hurting people...it's so mean but I just can't.
3. I try to hard to please everyone around me that I sometimes forget what I want.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Singing/Dancing
2. Random internet stuffffff
3. Writing

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Finish my freaking poem!
2. Figure out what clubs/sports to take at TJ
3. SLEEP

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING OR CURRENTLY PURSUING:
1. Law, but not crimminal. Too complicated.
2. Something in medince, not necessarily a doctor.
3. POPSTAR! Oh my gosh, who doesn't want to be a famous popstar? $.$

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Philippines<3 Visit mi familia!
2. Hawaii *on the way to the Philippines! XD*
3. Europe *on the way back from the Philippines!!!!!!*

THREE KIDS' NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Kathleen (it's pretty and simple!)
2. Nicholas
3. Jeanne

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Find my prince charming and get married! <3
2. Graduate college and get my master's
3. See the world! Well, all the nice parts

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. Hello, I'm in like ALL pink
2. Shopping=LIFE (well, after music and DisneyChannel)
3. I say like WAAAAAAY more than I should

INITIALS OF THREE CRUSHES:
(I'll just leave this blankkkkkkkkkkk) hehe
1.
2.
3.

THREE PEOPLE YOU TAG TO DO THE SURVEY:
1. Eh, if anyone wants tooooo
2.
3.

Okay, still not done with my poem...

edit//
YEAH! FINISHED THE POEM! Yay me.

Looking back on all I've done,
I somehow feel it's not enough.
I cannot go on any longer
While living in the shadow of others.

The rain is falling harder
As my dreams come crashing down.
The aspirations I once had for myself
Are fading into the distance.

My fear of failure haunts me.
I wonder if I’ll ever have the chance
To be like a star shining in the sky,
To finally have a moment of glory.

The curtains are closing in now,
There’s not much time left.
I need to prove to them all,
I need to show the world,
There’s something more to me,
Something grand I have yet to show.

As I stand wishing I could be more,
My vision clears and I finally see,
The truth is deep down in my heart.
Shadows surrounding my heart and soul
Finally disappear and I am free.

edit2//
New Layout! Totally customized by yours truly! Haha yay me!

Lyrics::Catch Me When I Fall;Ashlee Simpson
BGMusic::Catch Me When I Fall;Ashlee Simpson
Layout::Simple, Completely Grayscale
Banner::Feat. ME<3

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 20:15:28 GMT

New layouttttt! I think it's pretty...wow, I need a new profile pic...GAH I FEEL SO RANDOM!

Nothing really to say, field trip today wasn't all that great...

Longer post next time, I promise...

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:19:59 GMT

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!

OMG I'm back......

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 20:07:55 GMT

40-day xanga/aim break

Alrightyyyyyyy...well, it's Lent so I kinda sorta have to give something up. Since I was planning on giving up AIM and Xanga for a bit anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and give it up for Lent. I really, really really really really need to catch up on this stuff they call 'schoolwork' so I won't be back for a while...Just leave some comments for me when I get back because I'm gonna be out of the loop for the next 40 days...I still can use that thing they call a cellphone if you really wanna talk to me...(and you better wanna talk to me)

love, Alyssa
goodbye for the next 40 daysss

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 20:38:47 GMT

Yeah, okay...I've realized that people only comment when I'm angry or upset. Of course, that happens to everyone. Nothing much really happened today...unless you call an assembly that tells us to Be the Change interesting. All the MUN people are probably having sooooo much fun right now. Hah. Oh well, I get to do my homework...SO MUCH MORE EFFING FUN BIZNITCHES! *she says dripping with sarcasm* Whatever. I so don't need them. >.<

I'm in such a freaking bad mood right now and I'm not even sure why. I'm listening to/watching Rent...it's absolutely thrilling. Well, it's not as wonderful the 4th time in 4 days...*sigh*

It's nice to know Candice reads my period-by-period updates...makes me feel just a tad bit better...

Yeah, a lot of just random stuff here, but my brain seriously isn't functioning. At all. So, here's my list of more random things...just because I'm bored like WOAH

``My cell phone bill will probably be like REALLY EXPENSIVE considering I don't have that many minutes left on my phone...and Joyce is probably gonna call me all weekend. Unless they're having 'too much fun' without me. Seriously though, I don't really wanna go. Who knows what the heck they'll be doing in those hotel rooms... >.<
``I have a LOT to do this weekend:
*RAP Project for English: Read 600+ pages and do 2
essays...due Feb 28
*YLI E-Congress Bill for Civics: Write the entire freaking
bill...due March 2
*Essay for Civics: 'I Have a Dream' essay REQUIRED...due
March 7
*Practice for Show Choir...Let's face it, I'm TERRIBLE at it...no
due date really...Concert at CHS on March 9...
*Math Counts Competition...Saturday from 8-2 It's gonna be
absolutely thrilling>.<
``I'm really, really, REALLY angry and I'm not quite sure why. There's just a lot of people (more than People A, B, & C from a previous entry) that are just bugging me. Some people are just being really, really, REALLY mean to me even though I never did anything. Other people are talking about me behind my back even though they know I'll find out about it later. Then (TRANSITION WORD. TAKE THAT MRS. ECKELT! x.x) there are the people who are just being really stupid and saying the wrong things either on purpose or not. Oh, yes, and then there are a select few people that are just too stupid to tell me how they really feel about me and instead pretend to be my friends. Because, let's face it, I'm not as stupid as I let on. Hey, maybe THAT'S why I'm so angry! >.<

Ugh. I'll end here. Oh yeah, and go here to tell me what exactly I need to 'improve on' so I don't annoy you guys as much...and just because I wanna know...

You Are New York

Cosmopolitan and sophisticated, you enjoy the newest in food, art, and culture.
You also appreciate a good amount of grit - and very little shocks you.
You're competitive, driven, and very likely to succeed.

Famous people from New York: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tupac Shakur, Woody Allen

What American City Are You?

You Are 24% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

You Are a Coy Flirt

You may not seem like you're flirting, but you know exactly what you're doing.
You draw people in, very calculatingly, without them even knowing.
Subtle and understated, you know how to best leverage your sex appeal.
A sexy enigma, you easily become an object of obsession.

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 21:46:15 GMT

HAHA SCORE! 12 comments. Boy do I feel loved!! hehe...
anyway...The 3-day-weekend went by really quickly...I didn't do that much really.
I did go shopping with my darling Tiffy on Saturday! It was really sad though, we didn't really buy much. It was a lot of fun though...we were going to watch a movie (Tysons) but the line was like...really long. So there went that idea. We walked around the mall like a TON but I only ended up buying 3 shirts. A lot of cardio and calories lost though!! (Except, I did gain them back after I had Cinnabon...boy do I miss that stuff)

Today was ~~like boring~~ really boring...haha *sigh* I sooooooo miss 7th grade. But that's another rant for another time. I'd do another period-by-period update, but I think you guys are bored of how much I write all the time...so I won't. It's funny, I have nothing else to write about...>.<

edit//

if i could go back in time
i would do everything
d i f f e r e n t l y.
instead of keeping it inside,
i'd tell you how much i love you.
instead of crying because of you,
i'd laugh at the crazy things we said.
instead of being someone i'm not,
i'd be who i want to be

if i could go back in time
i would do everything
d i f f e r e n t l y.
i'd treat each day as if
it were my very last.
i'd stop hiding behind a mask
&&show how i really feel.
i'd stop creating drama
because of every little thing

but i know that wishes
almost never come true.
i know that the past
can never be changed
so instead i'll live with my mistakes,
l e a r n * f r o m * t h e m
&&change my future

taken from Da Vinci<333 (adrienne page)
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Alyssa-Claire

Friday, February 17, 2006

Fri, 17 Feb 2006 21:27:34 GMT

Yeah, well, no one really goes here anymore. So I've kinda given up updating...much...hah.

Anyway, PERIOD-BY-PERIOD ANALYSIS of my day. Yeah, you're pretty damn excited, I know you are...

Spanish-eh...nothing really. We basically just reviewed for the test on Tuesday and such.

Algebra-I think my teacher was the only one that didn't give back midterm results...*sigh* oh well. we just started exponents. THANKFULLY it's not graphing. if we do more graphing, i just might EXPLODE!!!!!!! so not kidding by the way...

Science-Eh. We took a 'test' that we didn't know about and basically we all didn't know what the freak it was asking us...I forgot to answer 1 question. hah. failed it anyway! seriously, no one knew what was going on. andrew finished first...naturally. but whatever

Show Choir=LOVE-haha anyway, we just practiced our choreograhpy over and over and over. i kinda gave up though...i had messed up on the first song. XDDDDDD Anyway, I don't really give. I know I know it...and I'll do well when I have to. But for now, I'll just do the best I can. Which isn't really all that great...heh

Health-Drug prevention video. again. THAT IS SO FREAKY~! I could be at a party and someone could spike my drink and I wouldn't know it...THEN THEY COULD LIKE RAPE ME! Health makes people paranoid. seriously. >.<

English-I do NOT like Mrs. Eckelt. She starts freaking out because of where I'm sitting, but she had put me there YESTERDAY. Seriously...bad memory much?? Oh well. I don't really care. Wait, yes, I do. I'm next to like the one of the ONLY people that I wouldn't talk to and then in front of alec who breathes REALLY EFFING LOUDLY. It annoys me like WOAH. *sigh* Def. do not like Mrs. Eckelt.

Civics-Went over Congress packet. Not fun. 4 extra minutes of class go by VERY long when you have Finley. Hah, oh well, she's not as bad as eckelt.

In other news, I'm pretty angry at some people because they piss me off like WOAH. So I'll do what some other people do and address them without actually saying their names...YUPPERZ!

Person A:
*you are so annoying. you follow me and someone else around CONSTANTLY and neither of us like you. you interrupt whenever i'm talking to one of my other friends and it annoys me like woah. you even know we don't like you, but you keep doing it anyway. and also, you copy like EVERY single thing I do. get your own freaking life, please. you do not want my life. trust me.

Person B:
*what is your problem??? I never did ANYTHING to you, yet you roll your eyes while i talk to one of your friends. in case you're wondering, you're the one that acted like a complete FREAK to me, so in case you're wondering it's not my fault. not like it matters what i say, you'll probably keep hating me for the rest of the year. or wait, no...maybe its one of your 'mood swings'.

Person C:
*i'm not mad at you, and you're probably not mad at me, but i swear it feels like you are. maybe i'm just constantly paranoid that you're mad at me because i KNOW you can ruin my life easily. i know that you are one of the few people that could get all my friends (or most of them) to hate me. and that scares me a lot. i've had a ton of breakdowns that involved you getting everyone mad at me and i really don't think I can handle another fight with you.

//edit//

For those who lost everything in the mudslide: friends, family, homes, property...my prayers go out to you. While it seems as if all is lost, I know your faith in God will help you get through this.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 01:36:37 GMT

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! <33333

Well, today I'm feeling pretty deep so I'm going to address some misconceptions about love. Well, here goes!

~There are many different kinds of love. There's the love you feel for family members. Then, there's the love you have for your friends. The love that everyone always thinks of first, however, is the love someone feels for their 'significant other'. That love is often misunderstood with really strong like. In fact, I think when little kids say they like like someone, it's more accurate then when we say we love someone. Because let's face it, love is a way more intense feeling than we think. True love, real love, is when you feel so much for someone that you're willing to do anything to make sure that they're happy. That includes going as far as leaving them forever-just so you know they have the chance to be happy. When you know each other so well, with just one look in their eyes you can tell exactly what they're feeling at that specific moment. You can tell what happened to them that day, and you know just what to say to make them feel wonderful.
Since we're too young to feel true love, what exactly do we feel when we get butterflies in our stomach and when we just can't speak? That's what we call hormones. XD But anyway, the reason a lot of people our age try so hard to find that 'special someone' is because they just want to feel wanted. It's the feeling that no matter what you do, there will be someone that is behind you 100% of the way and just understands you. The feeling that even when everything goes horribly wrong, you have someone there next to you that will support you no matter what. So basically, someone like a really, really good friend. That you happen to make out with.

Well, I think I'll end here. Once again, Happy Valentine's Day<333333

Bored like WOAH

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 17:47:18 GMT

Yes...well...it's officially the SNOW DAY. I'm still pretty depressed. Oh, yes, and I did TERRIBLE on the SATs. So don't even bother asking me what I got...

Since its a snow day, I naturally did some random things on the computer. Because that's what snow days are ALL ABOUT! So here's a couple quizzes I've taken:

You scored as Sharpay Evans. You are Sharpay Evans, the queen of the world! You love the theatre, singing, and bossing around your brother. You were cute clothes and though a bitch, completely bitchin'.

Sharpay Evans

80%

Taylor

70%

Ryan Evans

65%

Zeke

65%

Jack Bolton

60%

Kelsi

60%

Pop 'n' Lock Girl

55%

Gabriella Montez

55%

Chad

55%

Troy Bolton

50%

Darbis

45%

Stoned Cello Skater

30%

Which High School Musical character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Haha yes, I'm the evil Sharpay. Can't say I didn't see that coming. Because lets face it...I'm pretty manipulative when I wanna be!<3

~*~*~*~*~

Hot

80%

Geek/Nerd

73%

Prep

67%

Emo Kid

53%

Loner

47%

Punk

33%

"Ghetto"

27%

Jock

Stoner

Goth

What Highschool Clique Do You Belong To?
created with QuizFarm.com

Haha of COURSE I'm hot. XDDDDDDDDD Wait, no, I'm not. I love it...I'm hot, then a geek, then a prep. THAT SO WORKS! XD NOT

~*~*~*~*~

Perk up, Elphie. Not everyone meets their special
someone right away. No need to be so
despondiary! You have a very romantic soul-
though, sometimes, you're not quite sure what
to do with it. Isn't love confusifying? Don't
worry- with your strong character, a certain
someone should be drawn to you magic charm in
no time! And if that doesn' work... there's
always the Grimmerie... "Every so often
we long to steal to the land of what might
have been. But that doesn't soften the ache
we feel when reality sets back in..."

Which Wicked Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yes...well..I'm done for now...

edit!
haha. i lied. more quizzes! woohoo! (hey, it beats doing CIVICS hw!)

You scored as Dramatic. You are dramatic. Please rate my quiz!

Dramatic

75%

Outgoing

56%

Fun

56%

Immature

50%

mean

44%

Nice

38%

Shy

19%

what kind of person are you? (shy,outgoing,fun,mean,immature,dramatic or nice?)
created with QuizFarm.com

Hah. I so agree with this one! Aw, I'm meaner than I am nice. thats kinda sad...

~*~*~*~*~

You scored as Maureen. You're Maureen! You love performing for any kind of audience - your friends, protesters, anyone! You dumped your boyfriend for a woman, and couldn't be happier about it. You can be manipulative and cheat in relationships sometimes, but you're absolutely irresistible.

Maureen

70%

Roger

65%

Mimi

35%

Angel

30%

Mark

25%

Benny

Which Rent Character Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

HAHA I'M A WHORE! XD But, I'm so not lesbian. In case you were wondering... >.<